Hello Everyone.

Hi again. I'm back from the dead! I know it's probably been a while since I've updated this. I don't even know what the last post was about! I was just sitting in bed thinking i should take the time to let you know whats been going on in my life. A lot of good things, but mostly a lot of.. bad/lame things as well. The good things are that for the most part this year so far has been really happy for me. I've been spending a lot of time with my love, Ryan. We've been having fun chilling with each other. I started the semester at school in Jan and so far my classes are pretty cool. I'm taking a Graphic Design - Layout class which is awesome. We're learning to use a program called InDesign CS5. I missed a couple days already so I've kinda missed out on some of the practices. On Monday we're going to start doing our first REAL assignment. We need to bring in a "beautiful" magazine (like Vogue) to class because we're going to learn how to make our own articles or something. Pretty fun! The start of my career is with this class so I'm going to get an A! After that I'm taking the 2nd Reading class I need to get my Associates. This class is going to be easy and it's only an hour and 15 minutes! So short class yay! Then I'm taking yet another fitness class because i need i loose this weight that i can't seem to loose. :( Then i'm taking a very interesting and fun Human Sexuality class. And my love accompanies me during those 2 classes so yay again! lol Hmm.. Other good things that have been happening are that I've started trying to make baby clothes! I bought a Simplicity pattern that i can make a whole cute baby outfit with! Hopefully i can make a small career/hobby from sewing if i get good enough. I don't know if i said this in a previous post but I bought my first car! It is a 1995 Saab 900 SE.. I think. lol It's like a hunter green and the interior is a nice bright beige or something. Good condition. The downside is that i can't drive it right now because it needs some repairs. But they should get fixed within the next 2 weeks. Oh yeah another awesome thing is that i got my driving permit! so now all i need to do is practice and then my car can be all mine! :)

So now onto the lame things that have been dealing with. First of all.. I need a job. I can't seem to get one! I've been applying but i think i might be failing those lame ass questionnaire's they give! That makes me sad cause that means i've been wasting time applying to all these places for nothing.. cause they won't even consider you for a job if you failed em. ALL I NEED IS A JOB!!!! first and foremost!...then everything else will fall in place.. I'll have money to buy myself all the things that i've always wanted but could never get because i'm poor. I will get to move out this year which i'm really looking forward to. i'll have money to have my own phone, gas money for my car.. etc etc!!.. I need help but i don't know where to get it. :( bleeehhh.. it really stresses me out and kills my mood just thinking about it. Another thing that bums me out is my weight!!!! i might not seem very fat but i weight 150 pounds!!.. thats horrible.. and ugly too me. Luckily i have a guy who loves me for me. My weight can be fixed though.. i need to be strong and strict with what i eat. And i need to really push myself when i'm working out. Me and Ryan have worked out twice this week and i'm REALLY feeling it today. I've never had my upper abs, lower abs AND my obliques hurt all at the same time. hahaha! My legs and ass are super sore too.. So.. pray for me and wish me luck so that i can finally be confident about myself and like what i see when i look in the mirror. What else.. Things at home are still really hard. It's hard to deal with too. it just sucks because there's nothing i can do about it. I can't escape it. all i can do is deal with it. And i know that when i get a job, my money will be going to them too so i probably will still be stuck here cause i wont be able to save up. :((((!!!

BLEEEEEHHHHHHH.... I need a break from these things. All i want is a job.. seriously. Someone needs to help me get one. If i keep failing these questionnaires then i'll be stuck here forever. :(

Um.. Yeah. Oh yeah.. My 21st b-day is coming up. I bet nothing cool will happen on it though. Every year i keep saying i want this AWESOME b-day. I plan it out and am hopeful. but somethings always comes up and ruins things.. So.. As much as i want an amazing b-day.. I can't get my hopes up. last year i spent my b-day alone at my house. nothing happened all.. i didn't go anywhere.. no one came over to see me. (except ryan bit he had class so i only saw him for the last 2 hours of the day.) just the usual family. UGH!... Oh well.. Maybe there will be better days in the future. This year i want to go out to eat with everyone. and since my b-day landed on a tuesday.. I can't even get shit-faced on my DAMN BIRTHDAY!! cause lucky me! i get to go to school at 8 in the morning the next day! woooo!!!!!! hahaha jk It's okay.. I think i'm just gonna wait till the weekend to drink. I have no other choice. heheh. K well i think this is a big enough update to hold you till next time.. whenever that may be. I think i'm going to continue my baby clothes project. cause i'm tired of laying in bed with this laptop on my lap! haha

Bye!!!!!